Ryokou sha

Angvil is feeling The current mood of angvil at www.imood.com

Sorry... no comments for now
I got spammed so much that I have to disable comments for now. I'll look for a better solution. For those who know me, feel free to email. For those who don't.... try to find my email. It's somewhere.

angvil|07:09 am gmt+8|#

Sunday, May 25, 2008

unexpected trip
I sort of decided on Thursday night that I'll go up north on Friday if he needed to stay another night. Well, that is exactly what happened. I left work a little early but still missed the 18:15 bus, and had to take the last bus at 19:30. It might have been an express though, because I arrived in just two hours, instead of the normal 2.5 to 3 hours. He seems quite happy to see me. We had the famous milk dessert, and then dinner.

Others have guessed that I went to see him, and I guess rumors are going to be flying everywhere now. But it's been fun doing silly things like this.

angvil|01:06 pm gmt+8|#

Friday, May 23, 2008

busy time for project end
It's been a crazy week at work. The supposed deadline for completion is this Sunday. Everyone has been instructed to work on Sunday and that totally ruins our plan. We were going to buy furniture this weekend and probably spend the night in hotel near the shopping centre. It would not have been the first time we shared a hotel room though. He had spent time in my apartment before, and we took two other trips together as well. For some reason, I feel quite safe around him. I just know he'll not step over the edge.

He's been sent up north to check on the sub-con's factory work Tuesday as well as today and tomorrow. He's not too happy about that, but his loyalty to his friends keeps him from quitting.

I'm still trying to figure out my own feelings. What I am still getting used to is that how little about him can affect my mood so much. With him.... it's just a lot of small things, like grabbing me when I wander too close to the traffic, or sending me messages night after night telling it's time for bed, or commenting that the best thing about working in this silly place is getting to know me. Even now, I still find it strange that I feel anything towards him at all. He's not exactly the type I have in mind. He smokes, he's not tall, he's skinny as a stick, and his language.... But I guess something fit the profile. He's confident, and he's well-read. And the way he deals with tough situations, it's amazing.

angvil|03:15 am gmt+8|#

Monday, May 12, 2008

cleaning up the mess
I have finally decided to be transferred to the JV next month, after arranging, then rejecting another job offer. That other job offer all started because of networking from my colleagues. It would be an even more challenging job than the JV, but the pay is not all that much better. Well, I probably could have make a better bargain with them if I intend to go.

I have also rented a new apartment. It's two bedroom, and close to where he lives. When I went to sign the tenancy agreement last Thursday, all three of my colleagues went with me. At the last min before everything is handed over, we almost tore up the agreement because the landlord insisted that I am responsible for fixing any broken appliances after three months. It's almost funny to see how all three of them got very protective. But anyway, we finally made a deal and the handover was completed. I haven't move in yet, but will probably start moving some items over when I have time this week.

And lastly..... it's all about him. He is on leave this weekend for his birthday. It's almost scary to feel so lonely in his absent. I can't belive I would become so attached to a certain person. Less than half a year ago, I could almost hardly wait to be rid of them everyday after work. Like being in a breached castle, this vulnerability is what I'm afraid of. My mind has been telling me to get away and keep distance, but all the happenings don't seem to help in that direction. If John's case took me years before I am able to come into senses, I can't imagine how long it will take for me to recover from this.

angvil|01:01 am gmt+8|#

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

funny things
Funny how I blog here last, more than half a year's ago, when things got really messed up. Well, a lot have changed since then, but I'm just as confused as ever.

The net meeting went smoothly, and I got to know a bunch of good friends. Most unexpectedly, I met Sarah, whom I went to North Xinjiang with a month afterwards. And just when I had decided NOT to look for a job until my travel bug died, Rainbow (another girl I met because of the meeting) introduced me to an opening for site admin in Macau. Being too eager to leave home, I took it without thinking twice. I even cut my trip short and started work the day before my birthday.

Now, here I am in Macau, seven months into the job and the project is coming to an end. Everything has turned out ok, and the colleagues are more than I can ever dreamed of, except for Patrick, who should be classified as a nightmare.

I wouldn't admit it with anyone, but deep down inside my heart, I think I have fell for someone. It's that familiar feeling I had with John, but only less pronounced. The only trouble is that he is divorced but still lives with his wife and kid. And I seriously don't think he'll risk going further. I can't shut him out because he's a great help, both at work or otherwise. I know I'm treading dangerous water here, but I keep seeing him, whether we are with others or not.

That aside, I still have more troubles ahead. The director of our joint venture company has requested for me to be transferred to their team, and I kind of said yes. The pay would be much better, but the job is a going to be stressful. Also, one of my team mentioned other projects he has connection with, and is talking about bring the whole team over. I am all for that idea, but not everyone is that interested. In addition, I'm also thinking of working in Japan, and have asked Akiko to hook me up with someone in the know. I'm still waiting for a reply. I have also considered going on a year long work holiday in NZ or Ireland. But that is more of a back priority, now that so much have happened.

I have also received news that Angela is having (and probably had) a baby boy. I haven't been getting any reply to my emails I sent, but she sent an ultrasound picture of baby Dylan, the name she always says she's going to use if she have a boy. She mentioned she is expecting on 17 Apr.

angvil|03:11 am gmt+8|#

Friday, July 27, 2007

tide of change upon us
Today is a strange day. I actually felt it coming after yesterday's meeting. Ki was hinting at something. I knew that. But being fired didn't feel so good. Well, now that I have made it happened, I'll have to get working on my job search. I don't plan to tell anyone until mid-August. Hopefully, I'll get some kind of interview then.

I've also just heard the news that one of the stray cats I have been feeding died. Rumors says someone beat it up last night. I haven't been able to see all the cats tonight. So I was not sure which one it was. RIP, kitty.

Tomorrow, I'll go to the net meeting I have helped to organize since April. I haven't pack, I still haven't finish the booklets, and there're a million things that I would like to get done before leaving. Better get cracking now.

angvil|11:21 pm gmt+8|#

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

lots of cats
Last night, I went out for dinner with BC. After that, I decided to visit the cats. I bought a small cat teaser to play with the cats at the parking lot. Out of the three younger cats I know of, only one showed up. She's so cute trying to catch the toy.

Besides from those by the parking lot, I'm also visiting a bunch of cats at the roof top patio. After going there two evenings, I thought there are only about five cats. But yesterday I met a chubby lady who feed almost all the cats in the neighbourhood. She told me that on the patio, there are currently eight cats, and another yellow cat showed up a few days ago. Also, instead of one pregnant cat, there are actually two pregnant cats.

The rational side of me says I should call the CCCP volunteer and tell her about this situation. I'm sure if I call, she'll arrange to catch the two pregnant cats ASAP, and terminate their pregnancy. Maybe from her experience as a volunteer, it's better to not let the kittens to be borned. The kittens have a very small chance of surviving. But for me, I really don't have the heart to do such a thing. To kill them all before they have a chance to live. That doesn't seems right. Tough decision, but I feel that my heart is already winning over my head.

angvil|03:28 pm gmt+8|#

Thursday, June 21, 2007

more cat food
I had been feeding the cats on and off since my last post. I finally made the move and contacted the CCCP program last night. The CCCP program is a TNR program sponsered by the SPCA. I don't know if I can stick to what I wanted to do, but I really would like to try. I'm kind of surprised by some of the info the volunteer told me though. There is this man I saw feeding the cats with canned food for almost a week. He also told me he wanted to send the cats to the CCCP program. But the volunteer told me he's all talk and may actually do the exact opposite of what he said. Anyhow, I'll try to get friendly with these cats, because I really would like to able to catch them next month.

The other "big" thing for me now is the net-gathering at the end of July. I'm being named as the organizer. So I better get this planned out well. I still have to get the booklet printed and bound, and to organize the games, and probably to collect funds.

My intention for job search has hit an all time high, but I am hardly motivated. Oh well.

angvil|06:24 pm gmt+8|#

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Ryokou sha:
means traveller

the "me":
a.k.a. Laurainda

I started this web site because of a number of coincidence. I originally started to learn html when I was in Edmonton. I coded half of a simple webpage at that time on ivillage. Then I haven't touch the site ever since.

Recently, ivillage has change the policy so that web space that are not used regularly will be delected. So I started another page that is generated by the web tools.

I got interested in keeping a web page again. Plus I got a digital camera in summer 2002. It'll be nice to share some of the pics on my own site. Also, I'm planing to travel in Japan this summer. So I started a weblog.

That wasn't as easy as it sound. I tried out many web host and many publishing tool for blogs. To make a long story short, I think I'm going to settle with gm because I don't have MySQL and I absolutely hate ads.

So here it is as it stand today. Will I do more work on this? Yes, probably, but it all depend on how much time I can spare.


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